first of all, i have always been induced and always have had an epidural. this time i really wanted to go into labor on my own. i don't know why i thought i could actually be patient, but still. i didn't want to be induced. another thing... i've witnessed my sister give birth twice naturally and it was amazing both times. she wasn't hooked to an IV, she could walk immediately after, she never had to deal with being itchy from the anesthesia, and she felt amazing afterwards. those things sounded great to me, but still... give me the epidural. well, we live in a really small town. there's only 1 anesthesiologist and he has a crappy reputation. after hearing some friends' terrible experiences i decided i wasn't letting this guy anywhere near me... and my mental prep for a natural birth started... KIND OF! (i read a hypno-birthing book, but never actually practiced.) at 36 weeks eric was breech. i started freaking out because i didn't know what was going to happen. then at 37 weeks he had turned 1/2 way. i still had anxiety not knowing what was going to happen. at 38 weeks he was turned all the way, but very high. AND my doc told me that the crappy anesthesiologist was on vacation until the 17th and a really good doc was in town from flagstaff, SO if i wanted to be induced at 39 weeks i had the option of an epidural. (my due date was the 20th.) GREAT... now i was stressing out about what to do. do i get induced before the 17th and have an epidural, or do i just wait and chance going into labor after the 17th and have to do it naturally, and what if i go a week past my due date... i would go completely insane. i tried not to think about it and derek and i decided we would figure out what to do at my 39 week appointment. my appointment was at 11:30am and i had decided i would get induced that day if she would let me... well, i get to the doc office and had to reschedule for 4:30pm because my doc was at the hospital for a delivery. i figured my chances for getting induced that day were gone. well, at 4:30 derek and i go back and my doc says i can head right over to the hospital to start the induction process!! i asked her if we could go to the hospital at 8pm... we had some things to do like grocery shop!! anyway, my sister, kristina, and derek's mom got packed and headed to page. we had a friend come over until they got here and we headed to the hospital. at 9pm i was given cervidil at 10pm contractions started, but they were weak. i was given an ambien so i could sleep... all it did was making me feel high!! so i was up all night except for a few cat naps here and there. when kristina woke up she came to the hospital. at 8 am i was given pitocin... yup had to have an iv. i hate those stupid things. the nurse ruptured 2 veins before finally getting it in. my contractions started getting stronger and more regular, but i was still watching tv and having a good time! at noon my doc came to check on me. she wasn't going to check my progress, but i told her she had to!! she said she would if i would let her break my water... of course i agreed! little did i know what would happen when she did that!!! i was at a 3 and as soon as my water broke she told me eric's head was now putting some serious pressure on my cervix, and about 5 minutes later my contractions were not fun anymore... it was now serious business. i just concentrated on breathing and trying to remember the ridiculous things the hypno-birthing book said to imagine. 20 minutes later i wanted an epidural. the nurse checked and i was at a 5, so she went to call the anesthesiologist. then i started to question what to do. my plan from the beginning was to get an epidural, but my pride got the best of me. i knew if i got an epidural i would be so mad at myself. somehow in the craziness i decided to not have an epidural. derek and kristina told me i could do it and reminded me how fast i went from a 3 to a 5, but ultimately they let me decide... they didn't want to be blamed!! in the next hour i would sit on the toilet ranting and raving about how the biggest loser contestants run a marathon, so i have to... my sister has natural births, so i have to. i sat on the exercise ball, laid down, sat up, asked derek what i was thinking, squeezed derek and kristina's hand to death, horse bit the back of both of derek's arms, yelled at a nurse, asked derek to make the pain stop, told kristina i couldn't do it and she would tell me, "but you already are doing it," told them i was going to die, and finally, a whole 1 hour and 37 minutes after my water was broke, i gave birth to eric after pushing through 3 contractions! it was the most intense 90 minutes of my life. derek was so sweet... he did whatever i told him. and when i threw his hand away from me and then immediately reached out for it again he was there. he constantly reminded me to breath. kristina kept reassuring me that i wasn't going to die, and was there to support derek. you always hear women say that the pain instantly ends when the baby is born and there's a rush of adrenalin... i didn't experience that. my body was still on fire after eric was born and i was so exhausted it took all the energy i had to hold him. i'm figuring it's because of being induced. also, it was so hard at the end because the contractions were coming on so fast i never had time to catch my breath in between. i'm going to blame that on the pitocin too!!!
Eric at 10 days.